Written by WATYF on Monday, 23 July 2007 (5007 hits)
Category: Apple Bashing
I just stumbled across this story about how Apple is going to start charging people a $5 entrance fee just to get into their Apple stores. Can you freaking believe that? Seriously... I thought I'd seen it all when it came to the ridiculous lengths of Apple's smug marketing and aloof users, but this one definitely takes the cake. This just cements Apple, and all of the preening tossers who use their products, as the pretentious goobers that I've always known them to be. Now, it's not like I've ever been tempted to go into an Apple store (lest I lose 50% of my IQ and start drooling out of the corners of my mouth), but there's no way on earth it's gonna happen now. Oh yeah... and it gets even better...
The story is fake.
That's right, it's a satirical news story. You probably figured it out if you read through the whole
thing (or if you've already heard about it). But guess what... if you hadn't already heard about this joke, then I'd bet you my newest, lighting-fast PC (which I built for a fraction of the cost of a Mac) that you actually BELIEVED IT... even if just for the first few moments. You probably saw the title and thought... "Holy crap... I can't believe they're doing that." You may have been a little incredulous, but there was that certain level of acceptance there. Wasn't there...? Don't lie... just admit it.... you'll feel better if you do.
There's a high level of believability to this story, and that's what makes it so hilarious. It's not the actual satire (which is funny, mind you)... but the funniest thing about this article is the fact that people will actually believe it. It's actually a legitimate possibility in peoples' minds that Apple could charge people money just to get into their store.
Just think about that for a second.... think long and hard.... think about the absurdity that has become the "Apple superiority movement".... then slowly put down your iPhone and MacBookPro that you had to take out a second mortgage for... step away from them... take a deep breath... and realize how much you've been brainwashed. That's right... I know it hurts at first... your mind wants to fight it... you're thinking, "But it was worth paying so much more for this stuff"... you might even be thinking, "and I would pay 5 bucks just to have the privilege of shopping in an Apple store"... but it's not worth it.... it's just not.... shhhh.... it's OK.... don't cry.... I know it's hard realizing that you wasted all that money and sold your soul to a corporation all because you fell for a clever marketing scheme and wanted to be part of the "cool" crowd... it's alright... everybody makes mistakes. The important thing is not repeating them.