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Help me, or shut your big, fat piehole.
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Written by WATYF on Friday, 26 August 2005 (7098 hits)
Category: Nerdery

Has anyone else ever noticed this....? It happens all too often when I ask a question on a technical message board. Let's say I have a simple problem... I can't figure out how to defractalize a corned-beef hashtable... (yes... I realize those are made up terms... it's a story... deal with it ) And let's further say that I've spent a few hours (or even days) going through ideas on how to do this, and come up empty. So naturally, I head to my favorite message board/newsgroup/whatever that relates to the topic I'm having a problem with at the time. I then post a new thread saying, "Hi there. I'd like to defractalize a corned-beef hashtable. Can anyone give me ideas on how to do this?"

At this point, I'm expecting someone to come back and say something like, "Sure... you need to instantiate a Fractilization object using the Bioformatter Class, and then call the Defractalize method."

But instead, I get worthless crap like this....


"Why do you need to defractalize a corned-beef hashtable?"

....how much more of a waste of disk-space can a reply be?

What does it matter why? And more importantly, once you know why, will that, all of a sudden, endue you with some kind of special power so that you can actually ANSWER MY FREAKING QUESTION?!?! I mean... if you want to know why, then at least give me a suggestion on how to do it... and THEN you can throw in a little, "Just curious, but why are you trying to do this?". Don't completely waste my time, and get my hopes up (when I get an email notification that makes me think that I've just gotten a reply that will solve all my problems) only to offer a useless query that forces me to waste even more time explaining to you something that you don't really need to know.

And what's even better is when they don't stop there... before they ever bother to address your issue, they go on to question every aspect of your approach, as if you're some kind of dim-wit who can barely tie his own shoes... "Why would you defractalize a corned-beef hashtable? You could inflampitate it instead and then just use the resultant object.... and for that matter... why use a corned-beef hashtable at all... you can just use a coffaylist, and persist it using bicapulation." ...and then your thread turns into a huge debate about the advantages of imflampitation vs. bicapulation, and no one ever gets around to offering you the slightest bit of useful information pertaining to what you started the stupid thread for in the first place!!

For those of you who can't see why this is extremely annoying, I'll use a simple analogy. This is pretty much the same as someone walking up to you on the street and asking, "How do you get to the airport?", and you replying, "Why do you need to go to the airport? For that matter, why do you need to fly somewhere? Why don't you just use the train instead... it's cheaper... and you're less likely to crash. Or you could even take the bus, or just drive there yourself... blah blah blah... I'm a retard... shoot me now..."

Look chuckles... I don't care that there are alternatives... there's always more than one way to skin a cat. Just tell me how to do what I'm asking to do, or shut yer useless trap.


WATYF (who is probably guilty of doing this at some point in time... but would never admit to it )

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