Written by WATYF on Saturday, 27 August 2005 (7869 hits)
I think I may have found the biggest jerk on the internet.... or, at least, the biggest jerk of all nerds on the internet.
So I’m browsing around codeproject, trying to find a tip on how to hack the MSI file for TaskRunner (a topic which I'll be posting on soon, no doubt), and I run across this old entry by some guy from India (or Pakistan, or wherever 90% of the programmers in the world are from these days ) who posted a tip on how to access data in an MSI file using some API calls. Now granted... the solution wasn't elegant... and his english was pretty bad.... but he at least gave a simple example of how to open an MSI database and run an SQL query against it.
Well... apparently, some nerd was in a bad mood (probably because he hadn't gotten his daily ration of twinkies yet), and he decided to totally rip into this poor, unsuspecting sap...
You can read his oh-so elegant post here. So the newbie responds, mostly apologetically, and tries to clarify some stuff, but the nerd will have nothing of it.... He responds, sounding like even more of an @ss than he did previously, and tears the guy yet another new one.
My favorite part is when he opens up his first tirade with... "You remind me of a Visual Basic "programmer" who can drag and drop buttons on a form and add event handlers by double-clicking the button. This is not programming..." LOL... If that's not the epitome of an arrogant nerd, I don't know what is.... jumping straight into the "VB people aren't real programmers" mantra, even though it had nothing to do with the topic at hand (the code samples were in C++). Speaking of the stereotypical "VB" stigma,... what on earth is wrong with using a GUI to setup your form controls? I could take the time to type out all of my controls, and instantiate them, and set their defaults, and add them to the form, and all that crap.... but why would I want to, when I could do the same exact thing in three freaking seconds by just dragging a new control onto my form? What possesses people to think that doing something 50 times faster and easier then you used to have to do it is wrong? That's like saying, "Only stupid, lazy people use those new fangled "garbage disposals"... that's for wimps... I chew up all the rubbish with my own teeth and spit it into the garbage can myself." ....well good for you, you friggin' luddite... you're still living in the slower, less-productive past... here's a cookie.
But I digress. The thing is... this type of haughty nerd is actually a pretty common animal. I can just see him now... holed up in a dark corner... of his parent's basement... the glare of the monitor reflecting off of his mostly-bald head... as he sits.... in his underwear... that hasn't been washed in a couple weeks... and types away at his greasy keyboard... with his chubby little fingers... and scrunches up his little nerd nose while he fires off all of the "witty" nerd-insults that he can think up.
The funniest thing about this is... why on earth would a nerd delve into something like "arrogance". I mean... If I knew the entire Windows API like the back of my hand, I would make it a point not to tell people about that. Trust me on this one... that isn't gonna get you the ladies... And that's the thing you gotta keep in mind when you're a nerd. You're not "all that and a bag of chips"... you may very well be shaped like a bag of chips... but that's about as close as you'll get. If you're some big, famous star, and you've got money flowing out of your pockets, and you can make tripping over your own two feet look "cool".... then you might have reasonable cause to get a little arrogant... You'd still be a jerk, but at least I can understand that kind of arrogance. But if you're just some geek... and you've had your head stuffed in a programming manual for the last twenty years... then really... that's not something to get a fat head about.
So remember, if you see some newbie post inaccurate technical information on the net... just add a simple correction and leave it at that... 'cause let's face it.... "nerd" and "arrogant" just don't belong in the same sentence.